Letter to my body.

Dear Body,

Hi there! It's me! So, we've known each other for a long time now, 25 years to be exact. And I feel comfortable in saying that I have come to know you rather well over the years. I know when you are hungry. I know when you are tired. I know when you don't want to get out of bed. I know when you want to just jump up and run a mile, then you quickly get a reminder from your downstairs neighbor Mr. Kneecap that he is still (and will always be) messed up from the surgery SEVEN YEARS AGO! I know when you are feeling ill, and strangely, I can honestly say that I feel your pain, literally.

Anyway, my point is, I know you. Sometimes, I know you better than you know yourself. Because I know you and we have had this wonderful (sometimes painful) relationship for so long, I feel that I should be the one to tell you what has been on a lot of people's minds. What the HELL is wrong with you?

And before you get all upset and hurt (really, I can't handle that tonight, please and thanks), let me explain that I mean this with all the love and adoration possible. I am your friend and I have been beginning to see that you have a problem. At first it started off small and then it went away at one point. When it came back the second time, I said to myself that you would kick it again this time. And you did... for a very little while.

This is the third time. I, for one, cannot let this continue. As one of your closest friends (I know, you don't have many) I feel that it is my job, no my right, to tell you that you need to get some help. Or at least get your priorities straight to begin with.

You need to find away to being to function properly, without your little lapses from time to time. This time needs to be final, as in no more. I will not stand for the sleepless nights. I will not stand for the constant trips to the bathroom (no matter if it just for you to pee, I don't know what you can get into in there alone). I WILL NOT stand the CONSTANT interruptions right when something "personal" is about to happen (this REALLY has happened for the last time, next time you do that, I'll....I'll...well I'll do SOMETHING!@).

Bottom line, I'm putting my foot down (or your foot, whatever) and I will not let this ruin you! From this moment on you are going to take vitamins daily! You will watch what you eat (and I don't mean looking at it then eating it....p o r t i o n s, PORTIONS!) and you will drink more water! You now have a limit on the amount of sugar you can eat each day (and to Mrs. Sweet tooth, this is not up for discussion, it WILL happen). I have also come up with a plan to get you and Mr. Kneecap back into a well working relationship (I think that will work best for everyone in the end) and you two will be spending more time doing activities together.

I hope you don't find my new rules to demanding. And if you do, to bad. I will be there (with other by my side) to make sure that you do EXACTLY what you are supposed to do, everyday. Well alright, I may let you slide a little one day of the week, but that all depends on how you do DURING the week.

Well that is all for now, I should go and let you get your rest now. You are going to need it... In the morning, HELL begins!

No, just kidding! It won't be hell, but it won't be easy either. Hang in there and we will get through this.

Love,

Me

P.S- And NO! You CANNOT have that sandwich you wanted to get before you went to bed! Don't do it...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, now you're gonna get it!

What is going on with people today? I mean, does no one realize what the meaning of the word marriage means anymore? Why is it that women always want what they can't have? I'll tell you why, because we were all raised to be princesses who get everything the want no matter the cost. Well at least that's what someone of us believed. For the others who think that this is still true: GROW UP! Now I know that there are a lot of people out there who don't want to get married and will stay in a "common law" marriage (depending on what state you live in) for the rest of their lives, so when something bad happens, you just go your separate ways and move on from the situation. Or you fight for a little bit, have a few people in between, make up and put all the people you screwed while you were "taking a break" behind you.

Well marriage is different. Not only is divorce EXPENSIVE, but it's ugly. All the things that nasty things that get thrown around, and then there's the shit talking on top of all of that. Bring kids into the mix, and things just get worse. Marriage is something that I, like most people, do not take for granted. I did that the first time around and I ended being separated from my husband before I was 20 (yes I know that I was young, sue me). I knew that this time around I wasn't going to let anyone, myself included, mess up my marriage. Well I bust my ass to make sure that my man is happy, but I guess there are just some bitches out there, and (let's face it) men, who don't know when to say NO! And I lump men into that category because some of them think with the wrong head when it comes to important situations.

I understand that mistakes can (and do) happen. I understand that no one is perfect. What I do not and may never understand, is how a man (and many women) can think that if they are sneaking around, they WON'T GET CAUGHT! Again, I understand people make mistakes. Yeah, the mistake of thinking they are immune to getting caught or into trouble. The bulk of this post is mainly thrown towards one person (female), but it has to do with all men and women who think with the wrong part of their body.

Oh yes, and it is not wise to lie to someone who knows you better than you know yourself! If this person knows the kind of sounds that come out of your body while you sleep at night, then they will know that you are lying. Plain and simple. They know how you sound when you are fishing for the words to say that will (hopefully) get across that you are not trying to cover something you just did wrong. Let me give an example. A mom walks into the room just as the soccer ball crashes into the lamp. The only one around is the son (or daughter) who 1. looks like he (or she) just did something wrong 2. their eyes are darting all across the room looking for someone else to blame. Once they realize that there is no one else there and Mom pretty much saw everything she needed to see, it's time to think......quickly. This is when the sweating starts, the trying to suck up kicks in (giving hugs, trying to give kisses, or saying something completely random that has nothing to do with said task at hand just to try and get your mind off of the fact that something wrong has been done), or fumbling with words as they say them (when you know damn well that they are completely capable of forming complete sentences even when under the extremest pressure).

Mom's and Wives are one in the same when it comes to knowing their children and husband. They know when they are lying. So the next time I say that what I walked into the kitchen on, was not really what you said had happened (cause I know for damn sure you didn't "fall into her"), you will know that I'm dead serious when I tell you to get the hell on the sofa, cause you are NOT getting anymore privileges. Maybe you should go to "her" house, she may be able to get you everything you are not getting from me. But be careful, if her boyfriend finds out, I won't be the least of your worries.

I'm just saying.

Hey stop that! Wait, you're not my child.

Why is it that I always find myself getting after other people's children? I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this and I may not be the only one who has asked themselves this exact same question. I feel that I should examine this further.

Alright here's the scenario. Our roommate has two girls. They are very well behaved (yes I know, everyone says this at one point or another about some other person's kids, and they even say that about their own kids), they listen well, keep to themselves mostly, and have a good sense of humor. I have not once, in the short time we have been here, heard their mom yell at them or punish them for anything. Yes, there has been a few times (and when I say a few, I literally mean twice) when she has had to remind them of who they are talking to but nothing worse than that.

Well of course young girls have friends and since it is summer most parents are more than willing to get rid of their kids for a few days (you'll see why I believe these parents dropped their kids here in a bit). Around 7 this morning there were two new quests in the house. I was slightly awaken when they were telling their father good-bye but then I fell back to sleep. Not even FIVE minutes later, I was awake. They were so loud that sleeping was not an option anymore.

This continued ALL DAY. They have calmed down a bit, but that's mostly because one of them is asleep and I'm sure the other two are almost ready for that as well.

So here's where my disciplining other people's children comes into play. My roommates oldest daughter is 15, a good age, and she mainly keeps to herself on her computer. Well of course the other three look up to her and want to be around the cool teenager. Well this specific teenager isn't the type to be "hovered over". She would rather be left alone to her own devices. Well the youngest one decided that she was going to see how long she could push the teenagers buttons and had asked if she could have a turn on the computer. After told that her sister had already been promised the next turn she decided that wasn't good enough for her. She wanted her turn now, and she wasn't going to let anyone be happy until she got her way.

For the next 30 minutes (I kept track) she went on and on with her question. Each time the teenager said no, she would say "please"....

No
Please
No
Please
No
Please
No

On and on and on and on and....well you get the idea. Finally it got to the point where I noticed that the teenager was loosing her cool. After awhile, every time our eyes met she would mouth "Help". I calmly told her that it was so and so's computer and if she said her sister was first to have a turn, that was the final answer. She ignored me, but she rolled her eyes at me first as if to say "I don't know you, so I'm not going to listen". Well by this point she felt it was a good idea to begin to slightly move the table, thus making everything on the table shake, including my laptop. I asked her if she could please cease in doing that and again I got ignored. This went on for a little while longer until I finally couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want the teenager to explode to her and I didn't want to explode at her myself. I took the teenager to her mom's room and we sat down for a minute to talk about what was happening and how we were going to handle the situation so no one would feel put on the spot.

Well needless to say, the little girl was mad at us for most of the evening. Whenever we would talk to her she would huff and stomp off like what had happened has just happened and it wasn't hours ago. She spent most of the night proclaiming that her parents "let me do whatever I want, whenever I want and they never tell me no". Man I wanted to just get in her face and say "life does not revolve around you. There will always be people in front of you who will get the to do what you wanted to do first. Suck it up and get used to it now".

Why do I feel compelled to discipline other people's kids!?! I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I feel a child should not always get their way and they should know how to talk and listen to those that are older than them. It is a big pet peeve of mine to see children who disrespect their elders and it is an even BIGGER pet peeve when the elders LET them show them so much disrespect. Now I do not condone hitting a child, because they teaches them noting, but I do believe in putting a child in their place and telling them they are not allowed to talk to their elders in any other manner than polite. Well that is my rant for the day. What are your feelings on other people's kids?

Let me off this thing!

I really dislike when things come down to the wire and you have to make a snap judge decision. That is what this past week has been for my husband and I. We got "served" on the 6th of July and our court date was set for June 16, this past Friday. Interestingly enough, our apartment manager told us that "we didn't have to show up to court" and that they would take care of everything. Yeah. Come on, I was born at night, but it wasn't LAST night! I wasn't going to fall for that. And we didn't. Right at 2 o'clock on Friday afternoon, we strolled into the court room with our heads held high. Come to find out we were the only ones from the complex that actually showed up (I guess all the others believed when the office said they didn't have to go).

The judge calls our name and we go up there along with the manager and assistant manager. The judge asks for the lease, and asks us to make sure that was in fact our lease. It was. He then asked the balance and turned to my husband and asked what happened (like I wasn't even there). My husband informed him that he had lost his job and things just came at us all at once and we couldn't catch up. The judge shook his head and his verdict was in favor of the apartments, which of course we expected. We have to pay the amount we are past due and all of the court costs. Yeah, hold on, let me pull 2000 dollars out of my ass real quick. Shit, we didn't even have enough gas to get home, let alone pay anything on our past due amount.

When we got home there was a letter on our door from the apartments. Man they are determined to get us out of there. It said we had five days from that day to vacate or they would get the sheriff to come and watch while they took all of our stuff from the apartment. Well this was fine, we were planning on being out of there by Monday (yesterday) anyway. So I call up our "roommates" and inform them that we do need to be out by Monday and if they were able to secure a truck. Well this is where the story gets interesting.

Now if you remember correctly (or if you read on a regular basis) my "roommate" is called Ma in this blog. Well I need to put a name to her husband so I will just say, Butters. Why butters? Because if you have seen South Park, and know who the character is (all his "quirks") then you have a general idea of who this man is.

Here's the story:

Ma and Butters had found an apartment. This was a good apartment. It was in our price range and everything fell into place with the move in special and all that jazz. Well I asked Ma if she was going to need any help from us money wise. She said no, she had everything covered, for us to just take care of food to make sure everyone can eat. This was fine by me. Well something happened (Butters has bad credit and failed to tell anyone of this little fact) and we had to pay more just to get the keys for the apartment. Well Ma knew better than to ask me for anything because she knew that I spent everything on food and gas. Butters on the other hand decided he was going to finally be a man and spoke up; "So are you guys gonna help us with any of this extra money we need to put up?" To which my response was "No, where did you think all the food came from, the food fairy? We don't have anything to give you that will help". All hell broke loose. He went off the rails with how we aren't helping and "maybe it's not a good idea if we do this".

So here we were, Friday evening and no where to go. My husband called his family and I called mine. No one wanted to help (that's a completely different post all on its own) or "couldn't" help. We were ready to just live in our car when our guardian angel came and lifted us up. She is an old friend of mine and my husband's who we lost contact with for awhile (distance can do that). She didn't even care what our situation was, she wanted us to move everything into her place and stay with her. *Plot twist* While my husband was on the phone with her, Ma called me. She told me how bad Butters felt about everything he said and they didn't want to see us end up in the street, for us to come and stay with them anyway.

So instead of having no place to go, we had two places to go. Now it was time to weigh out everything and see where the best place for us to go was. Well our decision was easily made for us. On Saturday, Ma sent me a message saying that they already needed help with next month's rent and if we were going to stay there how much could we help with. I gave her the facts. My husband only works Friday, Saturday and Sunday's. He will get Thursday and sometimes even a Monday if the work is there. He gets about 150 to 300 dollars a check. We have our phones to pay, our car insurance, gas needs to be put in the car and food needs to be put on the table. I told her that we would help with food and give some towards the small bills but we wouldn't be able to help with rent. Well I felt we were just going around in circles. I mean they needed help with the rent and we haven't even MOVED IN yet! I knew living with them wasn't going to be a good idea. We would never be able to get back on our feet if that was the case.

So we moved in with my husband's friend. The move was completely stressful. We didn't know what to take, leave or put in storage. We struggled with cleaning the apartment or just leaving it a clean mess (where we put all the trash in bags but don't take the bags out). We also were stressing on how we were going to get all our big furniture from one place to another. Since we weren't moving with with Ma and Butters, they weren't going to help us move (I guess their way of punishing us) so we needed a truck. We were finally able to find a few people to help us move, but man it was difficult to see so many things go into the trash or have them given away.

In the end, we are so much better off. We finally completed everything today and turn in the keys. We decided on leaving the apartment a clean mess. They were making me leave, I wasn't going to let them have all the fun. I can just imagine the look on their faces when they walked into the apartment and saw four HUGE trash bags full to the brim with stinky, smelly trash. Oh man what I would have given to be a fly on the wall at that exact moment. It would have given my little fly body such a shiver.

We are most comfortable with our new living arrangements. Our new roommates are fun to be around and they don't want anything from us but our help around the house and some money as we can afford it. We know that we are going to have three meals a day and there is plenty of room for all of us to spread out and do our own thing. Only drawback, we went from sleeping on a King sized bed every night, to sleeping on a queen sized sofa bed. Hey it's all good. We have a good roof over our head, our belly's are full and will stay that way, and we are much happier being here.

I love the new sparkle that is in my husband's eyes, and I love the new surge of energy and positivity I have going on within me. I really do believe that this move was for the best.

Now the wait for more doors to open is on. Hopefully they don't take to long to swing open.